Monday, April 13, 2009

Not sure how much more I can take

I am worn out- physically, financially, emotionally, mentally. I am still talking to God, so I am not thinking I am spiritually worn out, but I might be.

I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions. I am overwhelmed. Today, I did Eric's taxes. I am getting an extension for mine. If I wasn't going to, I surely am now.

I think we got a 'mail audit' today. I didn't try to cheat anyone, but I guess I made a mistake last year. When we did the remodel, we got the money out of our retirement. We payed tons of taxes on it. I guess I missed a penalty that is now going to cost us $11,000. I am NOT happy.

What is happening to us? Why is every day a different issue that causes us more grief? Have we done something? Are we not doing something we should?

I can barely bay the bills we have now let alone this. When June 1 rolls around, will we have a job? Will we have to go to Corpus and take a job that is not at all what we need? Where do I go to resign? I am tired. I don't actually know how much more I can take. I know everyone says God won't give us more than we can handle, but I don't think that is true. I think he doesn't give us more than he can handle and he can handle a lot. I keep trying to give it to him. I try not to take it back.

I wish we could go back 13 months and stay in Longview. I know I would have missed some delightful people, but maybe we wouldnt be in such a bad way.

I know I was going to try to be positive, but honestly, I can't think of a thing tonight.

1 comment:

Becky said...

Gosh Pam! I can't imagine! I would be right there in the bottom of the pit too!
I don't know about the 'saying' the Lord won't give us more than we can handle. I don't believe that is scriptual as I have never found that anywhere.
The Bible does say that He will not tempt us beyond what we can handle and that He will provide a way out.
The 'more than we can handle' thing....I think that He can and does....we don't always know why. Ultimately, to depend more on Him, as you said, He can handle a lot!

I am just so sorry for every circumstance and situation you all are faced with right now! I continue to pray God's provision and rescue for you!!!!
love,B