Restoration

Last night was one of those nights when I found it hard to sleep. I have never been a good night sleeper, but when I am stressed, it is even worse. I wasn't flipping channels, the television was just still on from when Dean went to bed. I wasn't paying much attention at all. I hadn't even realized when a preacher came on the channel. He was speaking about loss and restoration. That really hit me.

For more than 2 years, I have felt an intense loss - loss of our home in Longview- our friends, our family being close, our house. I have never been very materialistic. Until this house in El Paso, when we looked for a house, we looked for something where our family would be comfortable, but where we could host gatherings for our Sunday School class or other church things. At Mobberly, we looked for a place where we would be able to host the youth for all kinds of events. We wanted to find a place like that here, but in reality, we took the only one we could find that had three bedrooms and allowed dogs.

I have allowed myself to be miserable here. I have held on to that loss like it was a security blanket - like it gave me identity. That is not the way I want to be. I don't want to live miserable or with regret. I don't want to be gloomy and always feel like I have suffered a great loss. I remind myself of Eeyore - he is always gloomy and has lost his tail. Like Eeyore, I have had wonderful friends who have come alongside me and tried to encourage me. I have continued to live in a negative world.

It is time to move on. Yesterday, my dear friend Amy and I were chatting. She has always been the kind of friend who will speak up and make me face the real issues within me. She doesn't just stop at the surface. I read what she was saying. I really can let go of the house. I called Dean and suggested that we make a counter offer. He worked on a couple of different proposals. I was okay with them. I could live with any of them. Then, he met with a friend who is a realtor. They talked about the options. Rick was in the middle of putting them together when we got a rude email from them. That sort of put those right out the window.

And so, the struggle continues with selling the house. The feeling of loss is still here. Every time something happens with the house, I feel the same intense loss all over again.

Last night when the television preacher talked about loss and restoration, I was listening. I got up this morning and starting reading scriptures that deal with restoration - I am no longer going to focus on the loss - just the restoration. I used google and looked up some different things about what scripture says about restoration. One of the sites was talking about lent and the significance of the 40 days. I looked and 40 days from today is Christmas Day. I am going to focus on restoration for the next 40 days. I will focus on allowing God to work in my to bring restoration. Jesus came on that original Christmas to restore the world's relationship to the Father. I am going to use the next 40 days and restore my relationship with Him.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

sigh

Well the deal on our house is not going to happen. Despite our best efforts and giving in where we really didn't want to give in. They had planned for his brother to buy the house for him. That was a great plan- except they offered us 11k less. We refused. Now we have to go through with the eviction. We are struggling. We want to do everything legally. We can't afford a battle in court.

We have no money to do anything extra right now- including spending money for our trip in January. We still have to pay tuition, too. Dean is going to try to get some overtime. I am probably going to look for a part time job somewhere.

So many things just seem to be overwhelming us financially.

Please pray for a fast solution to getting the renters out and getting it listed and sold.

AT&T is not making me a satisfied customer

I am really disappointed with AT&T. Below is the letter I wrote to them.

I purchased an IPhone 4 as an upgrade in Sept at a corporate store. I asked about insurance. I was given only one option - a $70.00 year plan. I asked the salesman if something happened and i had to replace the phone, how that would work. He said instead of paying the full price, I would pay an amount that would be the like the upgrade fee I had just paid. I paid for the plan. I was not told this was not an insurance plan.

Today my phone was stolen from by bag. I called to file a claim. After several calls I was transferred to Apple where i was told that what I had purchased was not a insurance, but it was an extended warranty. It would not work for a stolen phone or a phone that had been damaged. I was told my the lady at apple that this was a very common thing for ATT customers to be misinformed.

After several more calls (approximately 2 hours on the phone) I was put back to customer care. I was told that there was nothing that could be done despite the fact that i had been misinformed by an ATT employee. I was not asking for a free phone. I only asked that I be able to purchase a phone at the same price that the salesman had told me I could. The last person that I spoke to said there was nothing he could do, but he would credit my account for the current balance. That would have been 199. He only credited it 100.00.

I have one line that has not been used in a year now. I could not cancel it even though my son had moved to a foreign country because I did not have his utility bill. It was suggested that I upgrade that line and buy the phone on that one. That would be fine, except my son will be home in 9 months and he wants an iphone as well. That means that I will have to order a new line of service in order to get him the phone he wants. I will continue to pay for a phone line that no one is using - at 10.00 a month I have already spent 120. I will have to spend an additional 240 on a line that no one uses in order to get him a phone.

I am very, very disappointed in this whole situation. I feel I am being penalized because of the incompetence of an ATT employee. Instead of offering me insurance as I requested, I was given a warranty. It is very frustrating to me that ATT will not stand behind their customer when it was an employee who misinformed me. There should be some way for me to be able to repurchase an Iphone 4 for the 199 without adding another line of service or jeopardizing my son's line and his ability to purchase the type of phone he wants.

As I said, I have paid 10.00 a month for 12 months and have another 9 months before he comes home. That is 210.00 of fees for a line that is not used by anyone. If I had not purchased the insurance I would not even be asking for this. In good faith, I bought a year of 'insurance' that turned out to not be insurance.

I would really appreciate someone taking care of this matter for me. As I said, I would be willing to purchase the phone at the rate of 199 and not jeopardize any of our other plans. I will also purchase the insurance that is 11.99 a month- an option I was not offered in September. I was told today they could not make it retroactive as that would be fraud. I think being told that I have insurance when I only have a warranty could also be construed as fraud. I have been a loyal customer for a very long time.

We had decided to stay with ATT despite the fact that my daughter has awful coverage in Santa Fe. At this point, I am very disappointed we made that decision. I wish I had been given the opportunity to purchase insurance for my phone. Had I been given that option, I would have paid the copayment today and had another phone on the way. Instead, I have no phone. The cell phone is the only phone that I have. I use it for personal as well as business. I will probably lose business because I am unable to access my phone. I must say I am a very dissatisfied ATT customer.

I need to vent

I vent better while writing. Ok, we have a house for sale. We moved out of the house in June of 08. We had a renter for a while, but they moved out. During the time they were there, the house was for sale by owner. After the moved out, we hoped it would sell. Last fall we got a call from a potential buyer. He said they really wanted the house, but their credit was not great. They would need some time to build their credit. Dean went home over Thanksgiving and rented to them. They said they would work on their credit and get back with us. In the summer, we sent them an email and asked them to please buy the house now. We wanted to get out from under it. Joy Anna was starting school and we needed the money from the sale.

He asked if we could owner finance. We talked to several people and came up with a proposal. It was higher interest rate than a bank, because we are not a bank. It was still not going to benefit us a great deal, as we still would not have a lump sum we could use to pay off debt, pay her tuition, etc. He was very much an arrogant jerk over the proposal and called us ridiculous. Said we were trying to rip him off. He said he would get traditional financing. We told him that was better off for us anyway, to please go ahead.

And so we waited for him to get financing. We had sent an email as per our agreement and told him that his rent was going up in September. September came and the rent was late. When it came, it was the old amount and then the check bounced. This was not the first time a check had bounced, either. Because by this time we were already in a contract with him to buy the house, we let the amount go. We had been told at first that we would close by the end of September. That didn't happen.

Then came October. After the inspection on the house, he complained that the little bathroom had some water damage. It did not have the damage when we moved out. He had never reported that to us. However, to keep the peace and let the sale go forward, we agreed to lower the price by half of the estimated repairs.

So, then we had a contract that was good through Oct. 15. October 15 came and went. There was no closing and rent had not been paid on the house. The lender asked us to extend the contract until the 24th. Again, no closing and no rent. On October 25, the renter called Dean. He told him the contract would not go through. He wanted us to hold the contract until April 1. He offered to pay us the rent in advance. I know that sounds like a good deal, but in reality it didn't benefit us at all. He told Dean he would move out and be 'out of our hair' by the end of the month.

We countered on Monday with a proposal that we sell them an option to buy. It would be 10,000 non refundable option. We would make a new contract and at the closing, we would take the 10,000 off the price of the house. He told Dean on the phone that they had a place to live for free, so they might do that instead.

Yesterday, he sent an email saying that they would not do the option to buy. They wanted to stay in the house and rent it, but they were not going to pay late fees, etc. We wrote him back a very nice letter saying that we needed to sell the house. If they wanted to go through with the purchase, we had given them options. If those options were not acceptable, we would expect them to move out of the house no later than the 0ct 31 just as he had told us on the phone.

Yesterday, 23 days late, we got the rent. With no late fees. He says he doesn't owe them because we had a contract on the house. What?

Today we got the rudest email saying that they had 60 days to get out of the house per the lease. That should we try any thing else, blah blah blah and he was on his way to an attorney. He also said our letter was hostile.

I am really, really struggling. I am so angry. I am hurt. I think we have bent over backwards over and over trying to be nice. We have continually been treated disrespectfully. We have let things go on and on trying to be nice and let them get their financing. All for what?

Yes, I am going to have my own private pity party now. I keep wondering what we do/have done/whatever to make things so bad for us? We trusted the jerk that moved us here and we all know that turned out awful. We trusted this guy to buy our house, and that has turned out awful. I say that like we have trusted them - and not God. That is not the case. We know he has seen us through so much, and he will see us through this, too. The move and selling the house were both done after a lot of prayer. We really felt we were supposed to be here. If we hadn't moved here there are so many people who would not have touched our lives. Now, it is time to cut the last thing holding us to Longview and let the house go. It just won't go. It is like the song that never ends.

If you made it this far, thanks for letting me vent. Please be praying for us - for this to end quickly and smoothly.

Don't buy a Sealy from Dillard's!

A friend of mine purchased a Sealy mattress from Dillard's. She was promised "Guaranteed Comfort" After a few nights on the new mattress, they had to move to the guest room. They were miserable. They called Dillard's but they were told there were no returns.

What about Guaranteed Comfort?

They also called Sealy, but they refused to do anything, either.

What should they do? Any suggestions?

I suggested calling Dillard's corporate office and complaining. They will call their credit card company as well. I certainly hope they can get a favorable response. Not having a comfortable mattress that you payed for is very frustrating.

I can't imagine Dillard's guaranteeing comfort and not following through.

My Dryer is working and Sears actually does care

The morning after I posted my last post on my dissatisfaction with my whole experience with Sears, I had an email in my inbox asking me to please contact Sears Cares.

I made the contact. A very nice lady called me. She was watching my case to make sure that everything went as it should.

The technician came yesterday. The dryer now works great. The lady called me back just now. She made sure everything was going well. She also extended my dryer warranty for another year.

Hopefully, this won't happen to any one else. I am very glad to know that Sears actually does care.

Sears has poor service

The letter I wrote to Sears:

My dryer went out over three weeks ago. I called the service dept and had a scheduled appointment for last Monday. The repairman came on Monday. he did not have the correct part so he made one work.

By the time I got home, the dryer was not heating again. I called back. I was told that because the call had no closed, I could not reschedule, but to call back first thing in the morning and they would come out that day. I called at 8 that morning. I was told the computer was down. I was told that it would be several days probably a week before it could be rescheduled. I told them that was not acceptable. I was told that the person I was speaking to would give my name and number to a supervisor and I would get a call back. That never happened. Later that day, I called back and was told that I could not get it serviced until Saturday. I was very unhappy. I asked for a supervisor. Again, I was told I would receive a call back. That has not happened.

I called back that night and was told I could get service on Wednesday. On Wednesday, the tech called. It was the same person who had been on Monday. He said that there was no reason for him to come out because he would have to order the part. I told him to order and have it over nighted so it could be here on Thursday. I was told that was impossible. That it went against the system. He assured me it would be here on Saturday or Monday.

Today is Tuesday. I still do have the part for my dryer. I called today and asked for a supervisor. I told them I would wait on the line since as of yet, I have not received a call back from a supervisor. He told me that I would have to wait for the part. I told him I am tired of waiting and asked if he could track the part. It said there was no way to track the part. I was furious and let him know. I asked for his supervisor. At that time I was put on hold again. I hung up after 15 minutes.

I am very, very unhappy with Sears. Over the last three years I have spent over 10,000 on appliances from Sears. I have purchased extended warranties on most of the products. I have never had a problem with any appliance or repair until this time.

I can not imagine a company as large as Sears being unable to track a part for my repair. I can not imagine a company as well known and respected as Sears treating a customer in such a manner as I have been treated. I don't even mean the fact that I have been a very good customer of Sears- just any customer.

I was told that I could rent a dryer and they would reimburse me. Will you also pay for storing my dryer as I have no place to keep it?

If I had an opportunity to fill out a customer satisfaction survey you can rest assured you would get the lowest possible scores. I don't know why in the world I am wasting my time writing this as it seems to me that no one there cares a bit.

The house is supposedly selling

We countered and he recountered. We have an agreement. It is not what we would have liked, but it is a going to lift a load off us. I wish it was anyone but him, though. I know it is selfish, but I want someone who loves the house to live there.

Missing a friend

I have a few friends I have never met in real life. We have been friends for many years, but only online. I know many people think this is odd. We don't. We have supported one another through child rearing issues, husband problems, learning disabilities, death of parents and grandparents, moving, illnesses in our families. Several of these ladies I have been able to keep in contact with. One of them I am really missing today. Lyn if you are out there, send me an email. I miss you.

Dogs - gotta love 'em

It is a commonly known fact that Border Collies and Shelties are two of the smartest breeds of dogs. At our house, we have currently have 2 half shelties and 1 (at least) half border collie. That can make for some very interesting entertainment.

The girls, the shelties, sleep in a kennel together. They are litter mates. They don't sleep well when they are not kenneled together. Ranger, the border collie, has his own chair in our room where he sleeps. They sleep well. As long as you don't flush the toilet, the girls will just keep sleeping. If you flush in the middle of the night, it is like an alarm clock- they are up and raring to go. It really is bad if you are sick in the night. They just don't understand it. Most days, they sleep through Dean getting up and getting ready. One I get up (and flush) they are up for the day. After a quick run outside, they come inside for a morning rawhide. Since they were puppies, we have had this schedule. Now that Ranger lives with us, he is included as well.

Ranger eats his much slower. I have to watch to make sure one of the girls does not take Ranger's. He is too nice to take it back. He just looks at me with sad eyes.

We try to play fair. Each dog has their own set of toys. They favorites right now are these stuffed toys. They have a constant battle over them. Not in a bad way, just for fun.

Ranger will grab one of the toys whenever I start to put them outside. He will hang back and let the girls get out - then he tries to 'sneak' by me with the toy. Most of the time, I can catch him. If not, he goes out side and drops it about 10 feet from the patio. He then crouches over it daring me to come get it. All I have to do it step toward him and he is off! Running as quickly as possible to a new spot where he drops it and repeats. We play for a few minutes when this happens. Some times, if I don't really have a long time to play, I will call him back in with the promise of a treat. Dazzle is always ready for a treat. If he doesn't bring it back, Dazzle has been known to grab it from him and bring it in so she can have a treat.

Tonight it was a different plan they plotted. They were all three outside. They kept barking- even Ranger. I went to the door and called them in. Ranger and Dazzle came in. Razzle wouldn't. I kept calling her with the door open. All of a sudden, Ranger with a toy, and Dazzle flew past me. They ran right to Razzle and dropped the tow. I swear they had it planned out.

They really are a lot of fun to watch.

wow, where has the time gone?

So much has happened in the last 6 months since I have blogged. So, so much. There is no way I can even attempt to catch up. I will not even attempt to give a catch up post. I will just talk about what going on right now. I will try to do much better at blogging. I miss writing.

Today is labor day. In honor of labor day, I have done nothing today that can be considered work. I enjoyed some time alone at the mall. Eric needed jeans. I wanted to get a few things for Joy Anna's next care package. I tried on shoes at Dillard's. Why is it that when they are having a sale, the only shoes that I like are too big or too small? I would have really liked a new pair of shoes.

I am really struggling with the fact that the renters offered such a low price. Along with that, they said a lot of bad things about the house. I now know why you should use a realtor. It makes it less personal. Maybe if we had not put so much into the house - financially, emotionally, physically - it would not hurt so much.

I miss Joy Anna, too. I am so very excited that she is in a wonderful new town, starting a great school tomorrow, living in a wonderful little casita, but I miss her. I really enjoyed her being home this weekend. We had a good time reworking her fairy costume. We had fun hanging with Shannon and kids, Amanda & Joe and their kids, and the Roberts and the Snows over the weekend.

Watching her head off north on Sunday afternoon was not easy. I am glad she made it home safely. Today, she worked. She has worked all day long. She needs to go get groceries for herself for the week. She starts school tomorrow!!! Pretty cool.

She has been sleeping on a sofa. She has not been very comfortable. We bought a futon for her at goodwill on Saturday. It was brand new. It was sort of hard to pack it all into her little sunfire. It was in a a lot of pieces. She put it together last night and then called to tell me she knew why it was at goodwill. The directions failed to tell you to take out the two large packing bolts that were attached to base. With the bolts, there was no way to put the legs on. Poor thing. She is going to have to redo it tonight in order to sleep on it.

I am glad she came home for the weekend. I enjoyed taking her shopping for the first day of school.

I am really struggling with following my passion. I so feel the need to be creative and write and shoot photos. I am so exhausted - more emotionally and mentally - that I am just struggling to be creative. I am going to write tonight. I am within a few chapters of finishing my novel. I need it to be done. I am wondering why I am having such a hard time finishing. Is it because I am afraid of it not being good enough? Am I afraid of taking the next step and polishing it to go further. I like the story a lot. It is lighthearted and fun. Other people have a story to tell and are able to get it published. What holds me back from trying?

And so, I will cast of the fear of what next, the stress of what next with the house, and I will write. I know I have photos that I need to work on. I really should do that. I just can not seem to wrap my creativity around it. 5:00 p.m. That leaves me at least 6 hours before my usual bedtime. Maybe I will attempt both. Maybe writing will relax me enough so that I can actually work on photos.

I'm off . . .

Nicaragua Bound

We have only a few more hours before we load the plane toward Nicaragua. I am feeling so much better today. I am really enjoying the late leave time. It is giving me an opportunity to actually pack in a semi-functioning state. This past week I have not functioned well at all.

Joy Anna woke up feeling bad today. Here is a deep muscle ache in her hip. Playing at the park last night was not a smart thing for her to do.

I am praying she will be feeling better soon. No fun to go and feel bad before you go.

I am off to finish my packing. I may not blog on this one while gone. You can follow www.nicmission2010.blogspot.com

What a week

Despite the fact that I am at church every day, I don't feel like I have been there to worship in ages. It has only been two weeks. Both of those weeks we worshiped at the ridge. Worship there was great, but just not home.

The weather man predicted cold weather for the early part of the week. Our heater had been acting up for a few weeks, so I called early on Monday to tell them. The secretary never gave him the message. On Tuesday,the temps dropped. On Wednesday, I woke up to a really cold house and a scratchy throat.

I called back and he said he would send someone. He got there about 4:30 and couldn't fix it. Of course by that time it was too late to get a repairman. Wednesday night was quite a night for sleeping- but not a quiet night. We had one space heater. Joy Anna decided to sleep with us and brought in her sleeping bag and blankets and made a pallet on the floor beside Ranger's bed. Raz and Daz were in their kennel. I was trying to be really nice and brought the cat in to our room, too. Not a smart thing. Just as we would get everyone settled, the cat would do something to make Dazzle bark. After a few incidents, I got up to put the cat into the hall. At least she would be warmer than her regular home in the garage. Of course, I can't pick her up, so I have to shoo her out to the hall. Success! Sleep, right?

Wrong!

The girls have a water bottle on their kennel. It is the kind they lick and get a drink. For some reason, maybe all the barking at the cat, Dazzle was thirsty. I mean THIRSTY. She licked and licked and licked. Joy Anna had to get up and take it off the kennel. Poor thirsty Dazzle.

Finally we got to sleep. Only to wake up on Thursday morning with bronchitis. I knew immediately what it was. I got to the office and called the doctor. I went and sounding horrible. Since I am so prone to pneumonia, she sent me for a chest xray.

Now it is Saturday night and I am still so sick despite so many meds. Please pray I get well soon. We are supposed to go on the mission trip next Saturday. Going while really sick is not going to be a good thing.