Monday, September 6, 2010

wow, where has the time gone?

So much has happened in the last 6 months since I have blogged. So, so much. There is no way I can even attempt to catch up. I will not even attempt to give a catch up post. I will just talk about what going on right now. I will try to do much better at blogging. I miss writing.

Today is labor day. In honor of labor day, I have done nothing today that can be considered work. I enjoyed some time alone at the mall. Eric needed jeans. I wanted to get a few things for Joy Anna's next care package. I tried on shoes at Dillard's. Why is it that when they are having a sale, the only shoes that I like are too big or too small? I would have really liked a new pair of shoes.

I am really struggling with the fact that the renters offered such a low price. Along with that, they said a lot of bad things about the house. I now know why you should use a realtor. It makes it less personal. Maybe if we had not put so much into the house - financially, emotionally, physically - it would not hurt so much.

I miss Joy Anna, too. I am so very excited that she is in a wonderful new town, starting a great school tomorrow, living in a wonderful little casita, but I miss her. I really enjoyed her being home this weekend. We had a good time reworking her fairy costume. We had fun hanging with Shannon and kids, Amanda & Joe and their kids, and the Roberts and the Snows over the weekend.

Watching her head off north on Sunday afternoon was not easy. I am glad she made it home safely. Today, she worked. She has worked all day long. She needs to go get groceries for herself for the week. She starts school tomorrow!!! Pretty cool.

She has been sleeping on a sofa. She has not been very comfortable. We bought a futon for her at goodwill on Saturday. It was brand new. It was sort of hard to pack it all into her little sunfire. It was in a a lot of pieces. She put it together last night and then called to tell me she knew why it was at goodwill. The directions failed to tell you to take out the two large packing bolts that were attached to base. With the bolts, there was no way to put the legs on. Poor thing. She is going to have to redo it tonight in order to sleep on it.

I am glad she came home for the weekend. I enjoyed taking her shopping for the first day of school.

I am really struggling with following my passion. I so feel the need to be creative and write and shoot photos. I am so exhausted - more emotionally and mentally - that I am just struggling to be creative. I am going to write tonight. I am within a few chapters of finishing my novel. I need it to be done. I am wondering why I am having such a hard time finishing. Is it because I am afraid of it not being good enough? Am I afraid of taking the next step and polishing it to go further. I like the story a lot. It is lighthearted and fun. Other people have a story to tell and are able to get it published. What holds me back from trying?

And so, I will cast of the fear of what next, the stress of what next with the house, and I will write. I know I have photos that I need to work on. I really should do that. I just can not seem to wrap my creativity around it. 5:00 p.m. That leaves me at least 6 hours before my usual bedtime. Maybe I will attempt both. Maybe writing will relax me enough so that I can actually work on photos.

I'm off . . .

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hope things are looking up for you. It wonderful that you can write and think of a story. Not my talent at all however I love to read. Go for it.