Sunday

Today was interesting. We went to church. It was very, very nice. As long as the songs were high, I could even sing without coughing. I needed church today.

After church JoyAnna had a meeting. I decided to take a rest before going to photograph all the homeschool seniors for the yearbook. I was so nervous. I am not sure why. I was having a full blown anxiety attack. Partly, was not feeling up to normal I guess. Not really sure. I was sick at my stomach, and felt horrible. I finally took half of a xanax. I was so glad I did.

Dean and Eric were going to change the oil in my car. It needed to be done. I haven't had the money to take it to have it done. Dean said he was glad, because ehre I had been taking it, had stripped the screw and he couldn't take it out. When the put the filter on, something happened and the oil went everywhere. Thankfully, I had bought more cat litter yesterday.

This happened just as I was getting ready to leave. He had me really upset thinking it was not going to be driveable again. I was freaking out. I did not need this. I was trying so hard not to cry as I drove across the mountain (in Eric's car) to do the shoot. I prayed and prayed. Finally, I just cried out "Jesus, I need your help!" Literally, I am overwhelmed- physically, mentally, financially, emotionally.

Everyone keeps saying that things happen in threes. I think we are getting ours in thirty threes.

Thankfully, Dean was able to repair my car. There is a huge mess in the driveway.

I managed to do the photoshoot. The kids had fun. I hope the photos look ok. Tomorrow I will borrow Dean's computer and work on them.

Eric had a job interview today. It was not a great deal like he thought it was going to be. He will keep looking.

Tomorrow when I take JA to school, I am going to try to walk the whole time. I hope time will counter the fact that I can not walk fast because I can not breathe. I have to do something. I think I need to go on the biggest loser. I am miserable. Being overweight is not helping my emotional, mental, and physical state. I had to give my gym membership. One more thing I can not afford. gotta love it.

Dean is going to have to miss his fishing trip- for the first time in nearly 18 years. We won't be able to afford it. I feel really bad for him. He is upset about it, and he doesn't usually show he is upset with things.

Wow, let me think of something positive- I got to go to church today :)