Friday

Since I did not go to the funeral, I decided to have my own personal goodbye this morning. I stopped and picked up a sausage and biscuit and a diet coke before going to the state park. Nanny loved sausage biscuits. She liked diet coke, but she loved diet pepsi. As much as I loved her, I just couldn't bring myself ot have a diet pepsi.

I tried my best to sing some of the songs we used to sing when we took our road trips. I finally just gave up - the cracking and squeeking was driving me nuts. I finally just started humming them and singing the words in my mind. It was much better that way.

I decided to park at the entrance of the state park on my side of the mountain. There is a really nice view of the mountains. I prayed a little bit and said my goodbyes. Then I sang Papa's favorite song - Unclouded Day. Then I sang Broken Pieces that Nanny liked so much. Then there was Just a little talk with Jesus and Shall we gather at the River. I saved the best for last- it just seemed so appropriate- I'll fly away. It just seemed so right- "Some Glad Morning, when I fly away, I'll fly away."

I missed being there at the funeral only a little bit. More than anything I missed seeing my family. In a way, I thought this was pretty special like this. There was nothing I liked better than just me and Nanny sitting together. Well, there was always this dream I Had about all of us spending the night in one room. But, I loved to just be with Nanny. Today, I really felt like that. Sat right there on the base of mountain and had breakfast and talked and sang with her.

I am at peace and I know for sure she is.